fake beer snob

Porter with natural flavor added.
Beverage: Hazelnut Porter, $1.60 (single)From: Sea Dog Brewing Co. in Portland, MaineABV: 5.6% (12 fl. oz)
I don’t remember the circumstances, but once I heard someone say, “Ugh, a porter?” and roll their eyes. In retrospect, I don’t really know why—porters are versatile, and I’ve seen them used in a variety of “experimental” flavor recipes. I feel like porters are good for people who enjoy stouts on occasion but are not always in the mood to chew on their beer. This beer is solid and nutty, and you can really smell the hazelnut. However, this lacks the sweetness of most “dessert” beers, though I feel like it would easily compliment a big slice of chocolate cake. 

Porter with natural flavor added.

Beverage: Hazelnut Porter, $1.60 (single)
From: Sea Dog Brewing Co. in Portland, Maine
ABV: 5.6% (12 fl. oz)

I don’t remember the circumstances, but once I heard someone say, “Ugh, a porter?” and roll their eyes. In retrospect, I don’t really know why—porters are versatile, and I’ve seen them used in a variety of “experimental” flavor recipes. I feel like porters are good for people who enjoy stouts on occasion but are not always in the mood to chew on their beer. This beer is solid and nutty, and you can really smell the hazelnut. However, this lacks the sweetness of most “dessert” beers, though I feel like it would easily compliment a big slice of chocolate cake. 

Handcrafted Ancient Ale with barley, honey, white muscat grapes & saffron
Beverage: Midas Touch, $4.00 (single bottle)From: Dogfish Head, Milton, DelawareABV: 9% (12 fl. oz)
When you start drinking a lot of beer with the goal to review them, a lot of stuff might seem to taste the same. However, Midas Touch doesn’t taste like anything I’ve ever had before. It’s fucking SMOOTH. If you need the shrill taste of hops to satisfy your beer craving, you might want to skip this one. But, if you’re a fan of wheaty-witbiers, this is definitely something you might want to seek out the next time you’re cruising for something new. I’m gonna blame the texture mostly on the honey, but the combination of grapes and saffron really come together. My palette isn’t mature enough to detect the difference between beers primarily made with barley and regular ole wheat beers, but this beer has convinced me to keep a lookout for more barley-based brews. 

Handcrafted Ancient Ale with barley, honey, white muscat grapes & saffron

Beverage: Midas Touch, $4.00 (single bottle)
FromDogfish Head, Milton, Delaware
ABV: 9% (12 fl. oz)

When you start drinking a lot of beer with the goal to review them, a lot of stuff might seem to taste the same. However, Midas Touch doesn’t taste like anything I’ve ever had before. It’s fucking SMOOTH. If you need the shrill taste of hops to satisfy your beer craving, you might want to skip this one. But, if you’re a fan of wheaty-witbiers, this is definitely something you might want to seek out the next time you’re cruising for something new. I’m gonna blame the texture mostly on the honey, but the combination of grapes and saffron really come together. My palette isn’t mature enough to detect the difference between beers primarily made with barley and regular ole wheat beers, but this beer has convinced me to keep a lookout for more barley-based brews. 

Mango & black pepper honeywine.
Beverage: Necromangocon, $10.40From: B. Nektar Meadery in Ferndale, MichiganABV: 6% (500 ML)
I saw this on the shelf at Hopjack’s in Pensacola and from the label and flavor descriptions alone, I had to buy it. On the first sip, this reminded me of a lighter, less bubbly cider. The sweet and the tart come into play with each passing sip, but what I love is that I don’t feel like my gums are going to rot off from the rush of sugar. I feel like I taste more honey than mango. The black pepper is in the aftertaste, and is not offensive at all. I would drink the shit out of this with some grilled fish or a nice fruit-flavored salsa. 

Mango & black pepper honeywine.

Beverage: Necromangocon, $10.40
From: B. Nektar Meadery in Ferndale, Michigan
ABV: 6% (500 ML)

I saw this on the shelf at Hopjack’s in Pensacola and from the label and flavor descriptions alone, I had to buy it. On the first sip, this reminded me of a lighter, less bubbly cider. The sweet and the tart come into play with each passing sip, but what I love is that I don’t feel like my gums are going to rot off from the rush of sugar. I feel like I taste more honey than mango. The black pepper is in the aftertaste, and is not offensive at all. I would drink the shit out of this with some grilled fish or a nice fruit-flavored salsa. 

(Source: lifeofhunt, via arizona-bay)

ouiser-boudreaux:

Pretty sure shower caddies were invented for this reason. (Taken with Instagram)

ouiser-boudreaux:

Pretty sure shower caddies were invented for this reason. (Taken with Instagram)

(Source: ouiser--boudreaux, via beyoursledgehammer)

wicnet:


Sword in The Darkness Imperial Stout, brewed by the brothers of the nights watch. First in hopefully a series of rendered asoiaf/ GoT fictional beers. Meant to be beers that could actually exist in the asoiaf world.
wallpaper version at http://i.imgur.com/F32LO.jpg

wicnet:

Sword in The Darkness Imperial Stout, brewed by the brothers of the nights watch. First in hopefully a series of rendered asoiaf/ GoT fictional beers. Meant to be beers that could actually exist in the asoiaf world.

wallpaper version at http://i.imgur.com/F32LO.jpg

(via abloodymess)

americastestkitchen:

How To Make Homemade Beer Ice Cream
Two vices in one treat?  Yes, please. Get the step-by-step instructions.
americastestkitchen:

How To Make Homemade Beer Ice Cream
Two vices in one treat?  Yes, please. Get the step-by-step instructions.
americastestkitchen:

How To Make Homemade Beer Ice Cream
Two vices in one treat?  Yes, please. Get the step-by-step instructions.
americastestkitchen:

How To Make Homemade Beer Ice Cream
Two vices in one treat?  Yes, please. Get the step-by-step instructions.
americastestkitchen:

How To Make Homemade Beer Ice Cream
Two vices in one treat?  Yes, please. Get the step-by-step instructions.
americastestkitchen:

How To Make Homemade Beer Ice Cream
Two vices in one treat?  Yes, please. Get the step-by-step instructions.

americastestkitchen:

How To Make Homemade Beer Ice Cream

Two vices in one treat?  Yes, please. Get the step-by-step instructions.

Get in my Facehole: Avondale Brewery’s Spring Street Saison

Get in my Facehole: Avondale Brewery’s Spring Street Saison

eataku:

Weirdest craft beer found in the cooler at our local Connecticut liquor store… Gandhi-Bot!

eataku:

Weirdest craft beer found in the cooler at our local Connecticut liquor store… Gandhi-Bot!

(via warrenellis)

farriswheels:

I love her ‘overall impression’.

farriswheels:

I love her ‘overall impression’.

(Source: beyoursledgehammer)

We try some beer, get drunk, and review it.
"Cento" Copyright © Andrew Brinker 2011.